A "Very Special" Blog Entry

If you've ever watched a comedy on television and suddenly, without any warning, you get a very special episode, you know what I'm talking about. It's not funny. It either deals with some sad or controversial topic that really has no place in a comedy at all. I usually become very upset with very special episodes, so if you don't want to read this entry, I completely understand! Because ... well, it probably is very special.

You see, my blog has suffered a lot in the last couple of years. I used to try to write entries as if I were still writing my weekly humor column for the newspaper ... poking fun at the little things that happened in my life. But then, all kinds of things that weren't particularly funny started happening. You can't poke fun at dementia and hallucinations or car accidents or broken bones or bacterial infections. At least, not when the people who are suffering from these maladies are your very own family members. It's just not funny.
Somehow, my view of life ... and of death ... totally changed after my Mom passed away last April. It was strange because many beloved relatives had died over the years and it never affected me like my Mom's death. The reality that someone can just "pass away" without any warning ... that one day the person is speaking to you and the very next they are gone ... forever from this life ... that no matter how much you wish you could turn back the clock for just a few hours or a few days and gather all the hugs you possibly could and somehow seal them all up for the rest of your days ... so that you could take them out a little at a time when you needed them most ... you can't. You can't do it. There is no "do over."
As you go about the business of living, you'll find people with similar stories of loss. Suddenly, you'll meet these people everywhere. AND when you least expect it. You'll meet them at the cemetery as they water the grass or the trees or place flowers and trinkets on graves. You'll meet them at the self-storage center when you go to sort through things. You'll meet them in the department store, the grocery store, at the gas station ... wherever. A common thread, I've found, is the need to tell, in very particular detail, the last hours, days or months of the person's life who has died.
I thought I was the only one who had to keep talking about the last two weeks of my Mom's life ... but then I found everyone does it. It occurred to me one day, we need to do it. This need spills out and people who don't normally talk a lot keep talking, words tripping over themselves as they remember those last moments and try to make sense of it.
There is no sense to be made, though, because this is what happens. Life here will end. We will miss our family and our friends who go before we do ... they leave us behind and, although they leave their memories, impressions, likes and dislikes; they leave their special ways and words somehow deep within ourselves, it doesn't make up for the lack of the tangible. Not being able to physically see them, hug them, hold their hands or kiss their foreheads ... is, indeed, painful. We can talk to them all we want to (and believe me, I do!), but we can't ever hear their voices or look into their eyes. Not ever again.
This is when faith has to kick in ... and it wouldn't be "faith" if we didn't have to believe in what we can't see and what we can't understand! Which makes me realize that what we are all striving toward -- eternal life with God -- is the only thing that does make sense! The lack of the tangible we feel at the loss of those we love is only the tip of the "lack" iceberg if we were to be separated from God. Even just to think about this is chilling (no pun intended)!
In the last couple of months -- from April to June -- there have been at least six deaths of friends and relatives. Can you believe it? That is a lot, isn't it? At first, it's almost numbing. What is life all about, anyhow, if all we do is die ... no matter how much we try to treat or fix or cure? But then I remember, as I drag my mind back, that we're not supposed to live forever here. It's only that it seems we should be clinging to this life ... but really we should be shoring up our pathway to eternal life, instead!
There's so much going on in my head that I'd love to be able to get down on paper (even virtual paper) and share with everybody about how intertwined life and faith and death are, but I don't have the right words yet.
So, in the meantime, I'll just say this: While I'm still living, I know I need to make it worthwhile. This doesn't mean I have to succeed at BIG things. I only need to succeed at being a good person. I need to remind myself every moment how important kindness is. How patience matters. How we treat others is all we have to carry us through, because not one of us knows if we'll be here tomorrow.

In Loving Memory ...

My wonderful mother-in-law: Bertha B. Wheeless

July 2, 1926-May 16, 2011

You are greatly missed

I just really haven't allowed myself to think about the passing of my husband's mom. She was a terrific mother-in-law ... full of kindness and caring and generosity. She was witty and outspoken; a fabulous bridge player and the quintessential Avon Lady. She loved people and animals ... Coke with crushed ice ... clip-on earrings ... orange, marshmallow circus peanuts ... and biscuits from Hardee's. She was an avid reader of romance novels, devouring several at a time; getting stacks out of the library! Yet, one of her favorite books was O Ye Jigs and Juleps! (and if you've never heard of it, you should definitely find a copy and read it). She had several copies of it over the years, as she would lend it out and never get it back! She enjoyed the tv-shows Murder She Wrote and Jag and loved old movies: Portrait of Jenny was one of her favorites. She always fixed us a big breakfast, no matter how tired she was and Christmas just wasn't Christmas until we arrived at her house ... and ate her stuffing, onions and squash, biscuits and that deliciously salty country ham. Nobody makes country-fried steak or pork chops like Nana. She was an amazing woman who stayed courageously brave after the untimely death of her husband back in 1984. She had many words of wisdom and love to share with all. I really just can't believe she's gone.

Go Incognito!

Remember those goofy, plastic nose glasses with the mustache? Well now you can knit your own ... and customize your skin color and mustache while you're at it!

Disguise those fruits and vegetables the fun way!

Here's the silly pattern for you to try! If you'd rather have a pdf version, go to The Pattern Box

Incognito

Copyright 2011 Anita M. Wheeless


SIZE
One size fits all, allowing for the addition of more or less elastic for a perfect fit.

FINISHED MEASUREMENTS
A little over 7 inches from side of eyeglass to the other side of the eyeglass

MATERIALS
For glasses, ear pieces and mustache: Patons Classic Merino; 100% pure wool; 223 yards per 100 gram skein; color: 226 black; 1 skein
For fluffy mustache: Sirdar Foxy Fur; 100% polyester; 44 yards per 50 gram ball; color: Mink; oddment (just enough for the mustache)
For Darker Nose: Ella Rae Classic Merino; 100 % pure wool; 219 yards per 100 gram skein; color: 33; 1 skein
For Lighter nose: Galway; 100% pure wool; 210 yards per 100-gram skein; color: 138; 1 skein

1 set of 5 size US 8/5.0 mm double-point needles
Notions required: Strong black thread; black three-quarter-inch elastic; locking-ring stitch markers

GAUGE
Because item is felted, gauge is not important

PATTERN NOTES
Knitting in the round on both three double-pointed needles and four double-pointed needles. I-cord is used.

PATTERN

Nose: Use 4 double-pointed needles
Knitting back and forth with the double-pointed needles and your choice of nose- colored, wool yarn, cast on 24 stitches onto one needle.
Row 1: Divide by knitting 8 stitches onto each of the three double-pointed needles. Place a stitch marker before the first stitch on the first needle and prepare to join.

Rounds 2-8: Knit these 7 rounds.
Round 9: Needle 1: ssk, k6 (7)
Needle 2: k2tog, k6 (7)
Needle 3: k6, k2tog (7)
Round 10: Knit
Round 11: Needle 1: ssk, k5 (6)
Needle 2: K5, k2tog (6)
Needle 3: k5, k2tog (6)
Round 12: Knit
Round 13: Needle 1: ssk, k4 (5)
Needle 2: k2tog, k4 (5)
Needle 3: k4, k2tog (5)
Round 14: Knit
Round 15: Needle 1: ssk, k3 (4)
Needle 2: k3, k2tog (4)
Needle 3: k3, k2tog (4)
Round 16: Needle 1: ssk, k2 (3)
Needle 2: k2tog, k2 (3)
Needle 3: K2, k2tog (3)
Cut yarn, leaving a long tail. Thread tail through a yarn needle and gather the remaining stitches onto it. Pull tightly to close. Knot off and weave in loose end.


Glasses (make 2) Use 4 double-pointed needles
Knitting back and forth with black wool yarn and the double-pointed needles, cast on 30 stitches.
Row 1: Divide by knitting 10 stitches onto each of three double-pointed needles. Place your stitch marker before the first stitch on the first needle. Prepare to join.
Rounds 2-3: Knit these 2 rounds.
Bind off.
Bridge of the nose: Taking one of the eyeglass rings, pick up 3 stitches simply by inserting one of your needles into three stitches on the outside center of the ring. Knitting back and forth in stockinette stitch,
Row 1: knit
Row 2: Purl
Row 3: Knit
Row 4: Purl bind off
Cut yarn. Using matching black thread, stitch this piece securely to the corresponding place on the other eyeglass ring.

Ear Pieces (make 2) Use 2 double-pointed needles
Take your double-pointed needles and cast on 6 stitches. Make a 40-row I-cord.

Regular Mustache (use 5 double-pointed needles)
Knitting back and forth with black wool yarn and the double-pointed needles, cast on 16.
Row 1: Divide by knitting 4 stitches onto each of 4 double-pointed needles. Place a stitch marker before the first stitch on the first needle and prepare to join.
Round 2: Knit (4 on each needle)
Round 3: Increase in each stitch on each needle. (8 on each)
From now on, you will knit back and forth on each individual needle (separately), finishing one and then starting on the next. Starting with the needle you're on:
Row 4: Purl
Row 5: Knit
Row 6: Purl
Row 7: k2tog, k4, ssk (6)
Row 8: Purl
Row 9: k2tog, k2, ssk (4)
Row 10: Purl
Row 11: k2tog, ssk (2)
Cut yarn, leaving a long tail. Thread tail through a yarn needle and gather remaining stitches on it. Pull tightly to close. Knot off and weave in the loose end.
Repeat the above directions from rows 4-11 with the stitches on each, individual needle.
After all four pieces segments have been knitted, fold them over, so that you have a front and a back, as well as a left and a right side to the mustache. Stitch the sides together using black yarn and a mattress or ladder stitch.

Fluffy Mustache
Wait until after felting. Cut strands of Foxy Fur two times the desired length of the mustache. Fold each strand over and stitch securely under the felted nose.

FELTING

Put the eyeglasses, the ear pieces, the nose and the regular mustache into a zippered lingerie bag. Throw the bag into your washing machine. Sprinkle in a little bit of laundry detergent. Set your washer to the hottest, longest wash with the least amount of water. Set a timer and check your pieces about every five minutes until most, if not all, of the stitch marks have disappeared and each piece is firm and fully felted. The felted ear pieces will each measure somewhere between 6.5 and 7 inches long.
Stretch each ring of the eyeglass over a 2.5 inch round form, such as a glass candle holder, a jelly jar, etc.
Pinch under the nose to form nostrils.
Set the pieces aside to dry, which could take up to several days.

FINISHING

When dry, center the nose under the eyeglasses and stitch securely to both rings and also the little bridge-of-the-nose piece. Center the regular mustache under the nose and stitch securely in place. If you want the fluffy mustache, stitch the strands in place under the nose. Trim, if necessary. Stitch the ear pieces securely to each side. Measure the person's head (or the item, if a fruit or vegetable, for instance) from the end of one ear piece to the other. Cut a piece of black elastic stretched to this measurement. Stitch the elastic securely in place on ear piece, then to the other, joining the ear pieces with it.

I hope you enjoy it! As with all my patterns, if you run into any bumps or trouble spots along the way, please email me and I'll help!

May Days!

The fish have come out of their fish cave! YEA!!!



Here are all five of them. Three koi and two comet goldfish.

Aren't these guys wonderful?

Notice the food pellet!

Our back yard is really shaping up this spring. It's so peaceful and a really great place to sit and think and gather yourself together. (Which is what I need to do all the time!) It's also great inspiration for knitting projects. I haven't had the time to knit in SO long that I feel like I'm going to burst! I have so many ideas just bubbling up!!! I can't wait until I finally can sit down with my needles and my notebooks! (And this will definitely be the perfect spot to do so!!!)

I bought about 12 stock plants and put them all around the patio. Their spicy smell is just wonderful. It's a little like dianthus.

Here's Saint Francis waiting for some birds!

The color of this foxglove is just incredible.

Although those pesky canker worms ate all the leaves off the cherry trees, the blueberry bushes are still hanging in there. Only about a cupful of green berries are growing this year.

I planted some phlox and some English daisies, too. This little spot is going to be a tiny fairy garden!

My First Book Signing!

Here they are! All the characters together for our first book signing! I had so much fun at Cottage Yarn today! Thank you Sara and Grace for mking me feel so special! And thanks to all who came out, even during the terrible rain storm! I had the opportunity to meet such warm and enthusiastic people!

Storybook Dolls to Knit is Available: Really! It IS!

I was absolutely ecstatic to get my hands on my very first copy of Storybook Dolls to Knit!!! I hope you will be, too! Despite the snafu with Barnes and Noble and Amazon.com, who seem to think it's out of print already, it's available, really, it is! I'll be back with more details soon! And I've ordered a case of them, myself, which will be available on my website as soon as they come in ... and if you want me to autograph it, just let me know! As with all my designs, I will be here for help if you should run into any bumps or trouble spots while knitting, felting or embroidering.

Oh! One thing that made me so happy: There are step-by-step instructions for my designs ... including the embroidery! The cd of the stories is fabulous, too! The narrator is terrific! I do so hope you'll give these designs a try. I know you'll be glad you did!

Day-After Valentine's Feast!

I LOVE these Russel Stover Caramel-Marshmallow candies.
Just look inside!

This is what happens the day-after Valentine's Day! GO! GO now and buy yourself a bagful! Drugstores usually have them 50% by now, but you have to sort through the box. Don't be fooled by the coconut hearts or the plain caramel ones or even the plain marshmallow ones. Only the caramel-marshmallow combination will do!